Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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