If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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