Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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