He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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