three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
