Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
what day is it and did you see me today?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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