You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
