i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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