whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
