I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
