Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
