Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize