Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Help me help you realize you are a moron
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
