If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
