ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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