I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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