I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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