Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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