i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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