absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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