Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
True strength comes from lack of pants
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
