we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My penis needs a shock collar
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
