I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I hate all girls vehemently.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
