you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
