How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
