also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
i think i have herpe
just one?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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