she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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