He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
