dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
