my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
