Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Randomize
