She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
