Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
do herpes really smell.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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