gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
