He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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