I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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