He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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