Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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