Whoa Z and x make the same sound
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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