this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize