he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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