Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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