its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
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