Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
