I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
