Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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