are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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