god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
