He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
