I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
