she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
