clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
