I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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