New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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