I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We're too hungover to prance.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
