real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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