Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
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