From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
