Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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