I think my vagina is haunted
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
