I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize