so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
