Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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