Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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