I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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