it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
