maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
