I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
